Being Offended
"I don't care what anyone thinks!" This is a very familiar statement. In fact it is probably one each of us has made many times. It is the mantra and proclamation of leaders everywhere. However, is it true? Many times yes, but let us be honest, we do actually care. If we were always truly indifferent to the opinions of others we would live in a world without offense or personal issue.
As a leader, some may occasionally criticize you. Some will second-guess your decisions. Sometimes you may be lied about, or mistreated. It's part of the fun!
Offenses are unavoidable. Jesus said to expect trouble in this life. We live among people and people say and do selfish, hurtful things. Sometimes they even do it purposefully. People offend us by what they do (sins of commission) and, sometimes, by what they don’t do (sins of omission).
Offenses however, can be beneficial. They have the potential to reveal a greater purpose and to produce strength. They can also be more than painful, they can be devastating to spiritual growth.
It depends on how we handle the offense. Do we seek revenge and retribution or will we allow God to bring restoration and power to our life?
In Genesis, Joseph could have used his anger/offense to repay his brothers who had sold him into slavery. He was very powerful and could have made them suffer. Instead, God enabled him to use the offensive time to save his family.
I also think about David in 2 Samuel 16. In the midst of a huge family crisis, (he was chased out of Jerusalem and betrayed by his own son, Absalom) he is insulted by a man named Shimei.
2 Samuel 16:8
"The lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The lord has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!"
Even worse...he has rocks and dirt thrown at him! Yet, when Abishai one of his mighty men suggests quieting Shimei by chopping off his head (got to love good friends who have creative answers to problems) David prevents him and says "And perhaps the Lord will see that I am being wronged and will bless me because of these curses today.”
It’s easy to resent those who offend us. But what if God has a deep and important purpose for sending them—something that He intends for our good because He truly loves us. Romans 8:28 isn't just a feel good verse, it is a promise that even the difficult aspects of life will produce fruit when we are in love with God.
Being offended is a choice.
I love the wisdom of Proverbs 19:11.
"Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs."
That is not to say we should be the "whipping post" for all offenders or never be angry. Ephesians 4:26 commands us to not sin in our anger. But we must never allow an offense to become toxic for others our ourselves. James 1:19 encourages us to be slow to anger, even more to be slow to speak in that anger.
Ultimately this issue is about self. We can learn from Jesus who laid down all of His entitlements and privileges so that He could not be offended. Jesus overcame temptation, in particular the test in the wilderness with the word of God and an attitude that was not easily offended. The enemy appeals to our self entitlement in order to make us feel wronged or slighted. A leader who can learn to not walk in offense will see power and freedom be evident in life.
PS. I did not write this in response to any situation but in fact as a preventive measure for us all. So...please don't be offended at the writing about offense.
~ Pastor Sean Cherry
Being offended at one time or another is expected. It is how you deal with it is what makes you come out on top. If you let people ruin your life you are to blame not them. However, everyone needs to be open to constructive criticism so they can improve themselves. God will always take care of you.
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